Why Clever Writing Fails

When I’m editing someone’s work and a sentence tries too hard, I spot it immediately. It’s about 10 words too long. Or it contains words like “synergistic” or “dynamic”: words that perform rather than communicate.

The sentence loses power. Worse, it confuses readers.

Here’s what most writers miss: authenticity creates authority, not fancy language.

What this means: Your metaphors, anecdotes and explanations are there for clarity only, otherwise readers struggle to extract meaning and might abandon the content.

What is the One Clear Idea Rule?

Every sentence should carry one clear idea. When you pack two or three concepts into a single sentence, something breaks.

The reader’s brain stumbles. They re-read. They lose momentum.

Research backs this up. The American Press Institute studied 410 newspapers and found that with average sentence length of 14 words, readers understood 90% of the information. At 8 words or less, comprehension hit 100%.

Short sentences give variety. They let the mind breathe.

In non-fiction especially, readers need a break from convoluted sentences because short means simple.

The principle: One sentence equals one idea, resulting in higher comprehension and better reader retention.

How Much Difference Does Simple Writing Make?

I once advised a nutrition counsellor writing a self-help book. The manuscript sat at 90,000 words.

I suggested more informal language, word variety, and creating a conversation with the reader. We applied the keeping it simple motto. The word count dropped to 67,000 words—a reduction of 23,000 words.

What was hiding in those extra 23,000 words?

• Formality, adding unnecessary bulk
• Saying the same thing three different ways when once would do. The writer did the first round of reduction and as editor, I did the second.

Studies show plain language increases message retention by 41%. Yet we’re taught that formal equals professional. It doesn’t.

Authority Through Authenticity

I support service professionals, first-time authors and coaches. Often this involves topics where writers assume they need to sound authoritative. Yet, they don’t need fancy words and long sentences.

Being authentic and well-researched carries more authority than any corporate jargon ever will. When 81% of consumers need to trust a brand before purchasing, clear writing can be a business strategy. It’s the same with writing books.

Trust drives purchasing decisions, therefore clear, authentic writing outperforms formal jargon in building credibility and business outcomes.

How to Write Clearly: Practical Steps

When editing, ask: does this sentence carry one clear idea?

Step 1: Test each sentence

If you’re cramming multiple concepts together, break them apart. Use fewer words. Split long conjunctive sentences into two.

Step 2: Replace “trying too hard” words

Watch for words that try too hard. Replace them with precise, simple alternatives. Remove “synergistic,” “dynamic,” and similar performing words.

Step 3: Read aloud

Read your work aloud. If you stumble or struggle, your reader will too.

Step 4: Use cleverness strategically

Cleverness should be for chapter hooks and taglines: use it with intention and it shines. But never forget that readers came for clarity, not cleverness.

The power isn’t in showing how well you write. It’s in how well you’re understood.

Core strategy: Edit for one idea per sentence, replace complex words with precise alternatives, and test clarity by reading aloud.

TL;DR: Fancy, complex writing reduces comprehension and loses readers. Clear, simple sentences create more authority than jargon because authenticity builds trust. Sentences with 8-14 words achieve 90-100% reader comprehension, while overly clever writing forces re-reading and breaks momentum.

Core answer:

• One sentence should carry one clear idea; packing multiple concepts reduces power and confuses readers
• Short sentences (8-14 words) increase comprehension to 90-100% compared to longer constructions
• Plain language increases message retention by 41% and builds trust (81% of consumers need trust before purchasing)
• Authenticity and research create more authority than formal language or corporate jargon
• Formality adds unnecessary words; writers often repeat the same idea three ways when once suffices

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the ideal sentence length for maximum comprehension?

Sentences of 8 words or fewer achieve 100% reader comprehension. Sentences averaging 14 words achieve 90% comprehension. Longer sentences reduce understanding and force readers to re-read.

Does simple writing make me sound less professional?

No. Simple writing builds more trust and authority than formal language. Authenticity creates authority, not jargon. Just ask Mike Michalowicz why he writes in conversational style. You can actually ask him at his website.

How do I know if my writing is too clever?

If your sentences are 10+ words longer than necessary or contain words like “synergistic” or “dynamic” that perform rather than communicate, you’re trying too hard. Read your work aloud—if you stumble, it’s too clever.

What’s wrong with packing multiple ideas into one sentence?

When you pack two or three concepts into a single sentence, readers’ brains stumble. They must re-read, which breaks momentum and reduces comprehension. One sentence should carry one clear idea.

How much can I reduce word count by simplifying?

Simplification can reduce word count by around 20% whilst improving clarity. We writers often use formality and redundant repetition.

When should I use clever or creative language?

Use cleverness strategically for chapter hooks, taglines, and specific emphasis points. It should function as seasoning, not the meal. Clarity must always come first because readers came for understanding, not performance.

Does short sentence structure work for all writing types?

Short sentences work especially well in non-fiction because readers need breaks from complex concepts. In contrast, fiction or narrative may use longer structures, but clarity should never be sacrificed for style in any form.

What are the most common words that signal “trying too hard”?

Common overreach words include “synergistic”, “dynamic”, “paradigm” rather than mindset, “holistic” rather than whole, and similar buzzwords. These words perform rather than communicate. Replace them with precise, simple alternatives.

Key Takeaways

• One sentence should contain one clear idea; packing multiple concepts reduces comprehension and forces re-reading
• Sentences of 8-14 words achieve 90-100% reader comprehension compared to longer constructions
• Plain language increases message retention by 41% and builds trust with 81% of consumers requiring trust before purchasing
• Authenticity and research create more authority than formal language, corporate jargon, or trying-too-hard words like ‘synergistic’
• Simplifying language can reduce word count by 20-25% because formality adds bulk and writers often repeat ideas unnecessarily
• Test clarity by reading work aloud—if you stumble, readers will too
• Use cleverness strategically for hooks and taglines, but clarity must always come first because readers came for understanding, not performance

If you’re writing content that needs to connect with your audience but you’re not sure if it’s landing, let’s chat. I can help you discover a content strategy that works for you through a free video call.